The Alpha Female

I have often been referred to as an alpha female, by completely unrelated parties. It’s a topic I find interesting to say the least. I have bought books on it and often research character traits of an alpha-female. Each time I read up on it, I vehemently disagree with a lot of points “am I really like that?” but at the same time there are others that jump out at me. It would be self denial to not embrace some aspects of the fact that I’m an ALPHA FEMALE.

Let me start by defining what an ALPHA FEMALE is. She is a prototypical woman. There is none like her. Very similar traits to her counterpart and ideal partner and lover THE ALPHA MALE. An Alpha Female is a dominant female in a group. She dates as many males as she wants, is strong and confident, and a hard worker as well as often busy. She is usually sarcastic because she's powerful and playful. Alpha Females are intelligent, intellectual problem solvers; and though being an alpha female is more of a state of mind than a physicality, an alpha understands that dressing up or sexy increases her power in society, so she does it. Its really like Alpha Females were given a pep-talk at birth, before being weighed they were told to win at all costs, to use whatever at their disposal to dominate.

Will be making reference to Beta personalities (male and female), so let me explain this to you. Beta personalities are unremarkable, careful people who avoid confrontatin and keep the peac even if its to their own detriment. They lack the physical presence, charisma and confidence of the Alpha personalities. They are often smart but no-one is ever aware because of their timid nature.

Alpha Females are often terribly misunderstood by Beta personalities, and when this happens, she's called a bitch, a whore, cold or stuck-up. She is neither a bitch nor a saint. She simply wins at all costs. Alpha Females prefer passion over romance, although if it's romance coming from an Alpha Male, a blazing one, that's another story...(for another blog)

Now that we’ve touched on the issue of romance, lets dissect it a bit. A man whether Beta or Alpha will never forget an Alpha Female. “An alpha female is full of contradictions often keeping her male partner in a suspended state, not sure exactly what to do with her…” There’s always that one man or woman in our lives, if we are well socialized we’ll have two or three, that will stand head and shoulders above the rest. Remember we are not talking physical attributes here. We are talking poise, charm, vigor - a sense of being. The Alpha female is that mould that most men will hold the Beta woman up against. So if you have a string of ex’s who keep wanting to come back and consume you, even if its just to chat, ask for guidance on matters or just linger in your space - chances are you are an alpha female.

Although the Alpha Female is almost always a very reasonable at the worst of times. You are unlikely to see a tamper tamtrum or a hair out of place because he happens to be flirting with a beta female across the room.Her confidence is mind-blowing - refer to the pep-talk she received at birth. She is almost always put together, hardly holds any punches - its the element of surprise that the men enjoy. You never know whether she will enter from the back or the front or even make an appearance at all. 

The one day she is likely to be flirty, giggly, willing to be dined and swept off her feet. She'll humour your romantic advances, even seem girly. A couple of days later she may not answer nor return your calls, she may be reserved and cold, disappears for a few days. She is elusive. Beta men don’t quite have a handle on the alpha female and quickly take any form of distance as a sign of rejection. This is a red flag for an alpha female. An Alpha Females have Beta Males for breakfast.

She’ll usually keep an air of mystery, until she finds her compatible alpha male.  In the meantime, she will keep men in suspended states. Oftentimes, this may cost her a few good ones along the way.  The reason is  simple: she can’t completely be herself until she can see her future in this man’s eyes.  It may be a life long quest, but until that magnificent feeling, she will use her powers to entertain her.  On another note:  Beta men are easily offended, move on quickly, because they are quite undecisive. Where as the alpha male who is her top pick, finds his alpha females more of a challenge, a woman to be conquered. He may not react right away, and spend time with betas, but eventually he’ll make his way back to her. He has more women around him to choose from, and because of his need to sire alpha children he will choose his alpha female counterpart if she’s available (unfortunately, she usually isn’t because the numbers are few) to mate with. These unions usually create something spectacular in way of legacy and alpha progeny. Now, he can move on, but an alpha female won’t let him get away that easily, especially if he’s of high net worth or social status. This sounds bad, but its true.

It's important to note that she does not do all that she does in a quest to be dominant or manipulative. She just has to win. All that she does is in her quest for survival and success.

Alpha Female (sometimes)

M.M

Breaking down the walls.....only to build them again.

He didn’t fit the mould, although a beautiful man in many aspects, it was his behaviour that was out of the norm for her. You see, this man knew what he wanted, he even knew how to articulate it and carry it through. It was as if he’d dropped from the sky, like manna from heaven. Here he was, taking her in, allowing her to enter into the deep spiritual crevices of his existence. She didn’t have to guess how he felt about her, it was all evident in his actions, it was more in his look than it was in what he said. She listened to his deeds. There were no blurry lines. She questioned it, but no to him, to herself, to the universe. She unwillingly found herself slipping into that familiar world of doubts,  ‘ It’s too good to be true’. The days came, then they went. The weeks came and they too left. He was reliable and all together consuming. She waited for the tragedy, very impatiently waited for him to slither in the ‘men are all the same' mould. She waited to be proved right, as she often was – ‘all the good ones are taken’. She still waits...

You see, she is wired to wonder, it’s in her DNA, it’s scars of the past that she tries to cover with a bold smile and any form of outer armour. They’d loved her and left her before. She too had loved and walked. She’d been used and discarded many a times. There were demons of an evil nature that had been brought about by the past that needed to be suppressed and omitted. She sub-consciously carried pain on her shoulders and constantly fought to keep her head up. She did exceptionally well. So well that nobody ,accept the child she had been, knew just how heavy a burden she was carrying. She never entirely felt worthy of his love but somehow managed to be herself in their relations. She drew from her best and became the woman she thought herself to be. No, she didn’t lack self-confidence and had a healthy esteem – well outwardly anyway. Here was a man who in the first 48hours of exchanging pleasantries declared a desire to spend infinity with her. Slowly, and without pressure, she dropped the protective covering. She found herself unintentionally exposed again. Willing to lick every drop of that syrupy , seemingly unconditionally warm love.

He had this well of wisdom that she constantly drank from. She was never thirsty, in-fact almost greedy and kept wanting to drink till all her insides were drowning and gasping, only coming up for air only when the world needed her. He would talk about what he knows even admitting what he didn’t, she has never come across that kind of honesty and modest strength from a man. She was drawn to his mind, his heart, his compelling aura, his energy and his boundless beauty. She was inspired to trust him, pushed to fall to a soft landing.

Their courtship peaked in winter. It was the warmest she’d ever seen. She felt the heat from inside and it warmed her on the outside and resulted in a glow that even the blind could see. They hadn’t been dating long but from the beginning it seemed their entire relationship was based on painting pretty pictures, filled with colour and texture, of their future together. She felt that although she had made many mistakes in the past, some of which she was still paying for, gravely, there was definite favour from above, she was doing something  right as she has now landed this diamond that didn’t need effort nor cutting. It was polished, shiny and with very high carats – more importantly it was hers.

She had never been that sure of a man’s fidelity than at that particular time. His dedication and concern for her were above reproach. He sheltered and protected her, yet he was firm and assertive in order to shake that wall that those gone by had built. Eventually the wall had shaken so much that it began to fall. He saw in her what no-one had seen in her, looking through the eyes of glory and favour.

He was gone by the summer...the wall goes up again. They talk about reasons, seasons and lifetimes. Reason: he came to demolish the wall. Season : to keep her warm in her spiritual winter. Lifetime : to alert her to the fact that its possible to turn bricks into syrup.


You're loved.
M.M